How do I start?
The goal of this entire website is to get you hosting some stuff so you have the muscle memory and positive emotional associations. Once you have these things, you're set.
As best as I can tell, the main blockers are "What if it goes poorly", "My house is messy", and "I'm worried people don't like me enough to attend". To address these, we're going for the following qualities:
- Choose a simple plan so it can't go poorly. The more that's handled by someone else, the better. I.e., we're not going to be making dinner ourselves for a first hangout.
- Plan it weeks in advance so people's calendars are more likely to be clear and, more importantly, so you have time to prep once you get RSVPs.
- Plan an event where you're not the center of attention: you're just there facilitating other people having a good time doing things they already like to do. A movie, getting brunch, going bowling, and many other things are all great for this.
- Pick an activity that you genuinely want to do, so that you can focus largely on that without worrying too much about how other people are doing or whether or not they'll come.
If you have a friend group but you're anxious to host:
Invite a few of them over for pizza, wine/beer, and a short movie + hangout after! Everybody is going to enjoy this, and it requires almost literally no setup on your part: just ordering some pizzas, buying the beer, and having a streaming subscription + TV.
You can also throw a small picnic or invite everyone out to a restaurant for brunch or dinner, depending on income levels.
If you have friends but they don't know each other:
1. Think of up to 4 friends who would like each other
You need at least 2 people besides yourself, otherwise it's not hosting a group. Ideally they're similar kinds of people or have a shared interest, and ideally at least two of the people besides you already also know and enjoy each other.
2. Pick a day
at least 2 weeks out, ideally during the week. This maximizes the chance they'll be able to make it. I've found wednesdays are a great day for this.
3. Ask them to hang out!
You have a few options here. Often, grabbing drinks or dinner is the lowest stress option. Other options, depending on the guests, include watching a movie you've been meaning to see, playing a video game, or cooking and drinking together in your home. It's best if you have an activity you've been meaning to do for a while that you'd genuinely enjoy company for. Hikes and group dinners are great for this, but group dinners can be more stressful, and the single most important thing is that you're relaxed and excited to see your friends, and most most importantly that it doesn't become so overwhelming that you cancel.
Extra notes
People love to be invited to things, even if they say no. Nobody is gonna have weird feelings about you inviting them. The average case is that they'll like you more!
If you're worried about people not showing up, invite more people. If you're worried about people showing up, invite fewer people.